Passivity as main obstacle to wish-fulfillment
If you constantly feel like you are lacking something in your life, then perhaps you are right and it is time to take a close look at the way you interact with the world. Quite often the problems you are experiencing will largely be the result of passivity on your part. But let me give you an example to show you what exactly it is that I am talking about.
Say you feel like you are lacking friendships. All these people you know are constantly doing fun things together, and you are by yourself feeling lonely. Well, have you ever considered throwing a party or suggesting a fun place to go to? Why should somebody else be sending you personal invitations, entertaining you, and fulfilling your social needs?
It is very easy to convince ourselves that things should naturally come to us without any effort on our part. But that’s not how it works. Energy in, energy out. No energy in… no energy out. It is a very logical relationship, yet sometimes we completely forget about it and we might even decline an invitation only to then find ourselves home alone again wondering how that happened.
There are countless other examples, but I first became aware of passivity in my life when on a regular day I found myself wondering why my now ex-girlfriend hadn’t texted me in a while. I wanted to talk to her. I missed her. But she wasn’t texting me! How could this be? That day the silence of my phone put the idea that all my wishes are supposed to materialise on their own was quickly put to rest.
If you want something to happen in your life you have to make the first move. You cannot snap your fingers, lean back in your chair, and wait for people to start sending you messages, taking care of your needs, learning new skills for you, creating your artwork, defining your goals, ensuring that you have fulfilling relationships, etc.
Realising the importance of intentional action puts a very immediate spin on Gandhi’s iconic “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Before I used to think that Gandhi was talking about longterm change propagated across the entire planet. And maybe he was, but now I see that he meant so much more and that the rewards of active participation in your life can have immediate effects on your present situation.
It comes as no big surprise that people who get what they want out of their lives actively seek it out, chase it, grab it. Those people pursue their dreams fearlessly. And “fearlessly” is a very important word here because passivity stems from fear.
It is beyond the scope of this article to discuss how to deal with fear, although, perhaps there is an important lesson to be learned from Nike’s “Just do it.”
So next time instead of thinking “Hmm… So-and-so hasn’t written me in a while,” think “Hmm… I haven’t written so-and-so in a while.” And then open up Facebook and send them a message.
How easy was that?